“Me, disciple someone? But I'm still figuring things out myself!” If that thought has ever crossed your mind, you’re not alone! Many Christians feel a mixture of interest and intimidation when it comes to discipling others. We worry we don’t know enough, aren’t spiritual enough, or might mess up someone else’s faith journey. These concerns are normal, but they shouldn’t stop you from one of the most rewarding aspects of the Christian life.
Here's the truth of the matter: you don’t need to be a Bible scholar, pastor, or spiritual superhero to disciple someone effectively. You just need to be one step ahead on the path and be willing to walk alongside another believer. The early Christians didn't wait until they had everything figured out—they shared what they knew while continuing to grow themselves. As Paul reminded Timothy: “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also” (2 Tim 2:2).
What Is Discipleship, Really?
At its core, discipleship is surprisingly simple: it’s one Christian helping another Christian follow Jesus more closely. Jesus himself modeled this approach by investing deeply in twelve ordinary men, teaching them through both instruction and example how to live God's way.
Think of discipleship as a spiritual apprenticeship. An apprentice doesn’t just learn information from a master craftsman – they learn by watching, practicing, making mistakes, receiving feedback, and gradually developing skills. Similarly, effective discipleship happens through the relationship you cultivate, not just through transferring information.
Starting Simple: Who Should You Disciple?
If you’re wondering who to disciple, start by looking around you. Is there a newer Christian in your church who seems hungry to grow? A friend who recently committed their life to Christ? A young person who shows spiritual interest? Pray specifically for God to show you who he might be calling you to invest in.
The best discipling relationships often begin naturally. Invite someone to coffee or lunch. Express interest in their spiritual journey. Ask how you might pray for them. These simple steps can open the door to deeper conversations and eventually a more intentional discipling relationship.
When considering potential disciples, look for the “FAT” qualities: Faithfulness, Availability, and Teachability. You’re looking for someone who will be faithful to commitments, available to meet regularly, and teachable in spirit. Remember that Paul told Timothy to entrust what he had learned to “faithful men” – reliability matters in discipleship.
What Do You Actually Do When You Meet?
Discipleship is a life-on-life relationship where you walk alongside another person, guiding them to become closer to Jesus. In other words, it is organic. However, along with the unfolding organic relationship, I’ve found it helpful to have structured meetings. Many first-time disciplers freeze up because they don’t know what to do in actual discipleship meetings. So, here’s a simple framework to get you started:
Life and Prayer (15-20 minutes): Begin by checking in on each other’s lives. How are things going in their relationship with God, family, work, and personal growth? Share your own experiences too – discipleship is a two-way street, even if you're the more mature believer. Then pray together about what you've discussed.
Scripture and Discussion (30-40 minutes): Spend time in God’s Word together. You might study a book of the Bible, work through a solid Christian book, or focus on specific topics relevant to their growth stage. The key is that Scripture remains central. Ask good questions: “What does this passage tell us about God? About ourselves? How might this change how we live this week?”
Application and Accountability (10-15 minutes): Help your disciple apply what they’re learning. What specific, measurable step can they take this week to put God’s Word into practice? In your next meeting, lovingly follow up on how it went.
Remember, effective discipleship balances truth and life. It's not just Bible study, and it’s not just friendship – it’s both. You're helping someone connect God's Word to their daily reality.
Common Fears and How to Overcome Them
If you’re hesitating to disciple someone, you’re probably experiencing one of these common fears:
“What if they ask questions I can’t answer?” This fear actually presents one of the best discipleship opportunities! Simply say, “That’s a great question. I don’t know the answer, but let’s find out together.” Then research it before your next meeting, or explore resources together. Your disciple learns not just the answer but also how to find answers.
“I’m still struggling with sin myself. How can I disciple someone else?” Welcome to the club! Every discipler is an imperfect work in progress. The requirement isn’t perfection but honesty and growth. Your willingness to be transparent about your own struggles while pointing to Christ’s sufficiency can be tremendously encouraging to a newer believer.
“I don’t know enough.” Remember, discipleship is more about sharing your life than sharing all the answers. Start with what you do know. Focus on fundamentals: how to read the Bible, pray, resist temptation, and love others. Your own faithful walk with Jesus qualifies you more than theological expertise.
The Heart of Discipleship: Love and Intentionality
The most effective discipling relationships share two key qualities: genuine love and strategic intentionality. You truly care about this person’s spiritual growth, and you have a purposeful plan to help them develop.
Discipleship isn’t random. Think about what this person needs to grow in their next stage of Christian maturity. A brand-new believer needs different input than someone who's been walking with Christ for years. Are they learning basic Christian doctrine? Developing spiritual disciplines? Learning to share their faith? Wrestling with difficult life circumstances? Tailor your approach accordingly.
Most importantly, make sure everything you do points them to dependency on Christ, not on you. Your goal is not to create your own follower but to help them follow Jesus more faithfully. The discipleship relationship should gradually shift from greater dependency to growing partnership in the gospel.
Getting Started This Week
Ready to take that first step? Here’s a simple action plan:
Pray for God to show you who to invest in.
Reach out and schedule that first coffee or meal together.
Continue to get to know them and express your own desire to grow in Christ and invite them to join you on the journey.
Suggest meeting regularly (weekly or bi-weekly works best) for a defined period (try 8-12 weeks to start).
Keep it simple – pick a gospel to read through together or a basic discipleship resource to guide your discussions.
Remember Paul’s encouragement to Timothy: the things you’ve received are meant to be passed on to others, who will then pass them on again. When you disciple someone, you're not just investing in one life – you're potentially influencing generations to come.
Despite your imperfections and limitations, God can use you powerfully in someone else’s spiritual journey. The question isn’t whether you’re qualified enough but whether you’re willing enough. Take that step of faith. Someone around you is waiting for the invitation to grow.