By Arnie Cole
This is the “they’re back” season of the year. I wanted to challenge you today to look through a different lens at those people close to you that mock you, say all manner of evil against you (behind your back of course) and drive you absolutely crazy. Sometimes it can get to the point of almost ruining your time of celebrating the most wonderful time of year—gratefulness and thankfulness to God, and in just a few short weeks, the birth of Jesus.
Maybe something like this has happened to you.
The turkey is ready, the fireplace is roaring and all the little ones and bigger ones are gathered around the table. You ask everyone to take a turn to say one thing they are thankful for. The kids wax eloquently with an attitude of gratitude—thankful for everything God has given them. Then, you get around to you know who, and they say absolutely nothing.
Then the littlest one looks at them and says, “What are you thankful for?” When that person turns to everyone and says, “I am thankful for nothing,” you’re left considering what they’ve just implied. Counting on your fingers under the table you list off the things they’ve left unsaid—not thankful for the person who brought them, the hosts, as well as the rest of us….
You’ve already struggled with how the person drops the f-bomb around the kids, but suddenly things have gone way beyond bearable. Yet, you say nothing while the resentment and self-protecting distance continues to grow.
You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that the old adage of “fake it until you make it” doesn’t work very well. No matter what you do to hide it, the irritation and frustration shows all over you—even if you don’t say or do anything.
Bottom line upfront: Relate Jesus to someone close to you who simply doesn’t relate. Please know how thankful Char and I are for you and your support. We made this little Happy Thanksgiving video for you all…https://bttb.org/happythanksgiving2024.
As Christ Followers, in this season of Thanksgiving, we often find ourselves gathered around tables with family members whose life choices challenge our beliefs and values to the very core. (Granted for some of us, it is super easy to forget that just a few years ago we were that jerk at the table—until Jesus changed our hearts.)
Regardless of how Jesus radically transformed your own life, it is now easy to be totally bugged by that special person who doesn’t know Jesus. Maybe it's the cousin who abandoned their faith, the young person or sibling who has chosen a lifestyle or gender you don’t agree with, someone living with their partner, or the relative who mocks or outright criticizes your commitment to Jesus.
These differences can create deep rifts, making traditional family gatherings feel more like battlegrounds than celebrations. But what if these challenging relationships are actually opportunities for spiritual growth?
Here is powerful guidance from Jesus: "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:27-28). While your family members may not be enemies, this Scripture offers wisdom for handling difficult relationships.
This Thanksgiving, instead of dreading interactions with these family members, try viewing them through a different lens. Deal with them like you would a deaf and blind person who is heading full speed down a road that ends at the edge of a cliff. It is up to us to get over our irritation. Consider how complex their situation really is being spiritually blind and deaf. They simply can’t see or hear the dangers ahead (just like us before Jesus). I promise, this will totally change your time around them—likely not their attitudes or reactions—but your own. By the grace of God, He will change you and how you treat them.
Their presence in your life isn't a burden. It is your opportunity to practice the radical love Jesus commanded and has already shown to each of us.
Remember, Jesus didn't say "love your enemies if they change" or "do good to those who deserve it." He called us to love unconditionally, just as He loves us. This Thanksgiving, let's practice being thankful for all our relationships—even the ones that stretch us beyond our limit.
What do you think? Is this possible? Please respond and let me know.
Here’s that link from Char and me. Happy Thanksgiving!
Send your comments to me here.
-Arnie
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